Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Wobblying big time!!!!

Here I am in the fabulous dress shop, wobblying. Tonight I should have been on the flight to Spain to my beautiful island and instead I am here in Lima and now am about to embark on some wild adventure to the jungle for more healing. There is a part of me that is sooooo over all this and today talking with a Medical Intuitive from the States I know things are serious. I have tried so hard to dance between the shadows and the light and right now that old familiar feeling of mental panic and rubbish is trying to spoil what my heart is saying so clearly and lovingly to me. So in order to keep it quiet I went and bought some jungle dresses. Well what else was I supposed to do? And darling Jane has gifted me with a hair cut in a fabulous salon. So even though I shall have to deal with snakes and mosquitoes not to mention the vomiting, and wild spirit trips, I shall look wonderful in my new dresses and fab hair cut!! 

Yes I am being  light and ok superficial but it has been a heavy day with magic bits within it, as always. It all feels so surreal and everything is unfolding in such a way that blows me away. Even the travel agency is returning my money to my account so I now have no ticket and no idea what is happening to me! I feel a little isolated here in Lima away from all my friends and support group and writing this is gently easing away the doubts that keep surfacing. Saying goodbye to Jane after a large cafe con leche, was actually lovely knowing I can call her when I need to and she me. And I know we will be meeting in a few months hopefully at the beach or maybe again in the casino!! God, I am so so lucky to have such beautiful friends and so much love and I just have to keep strong as I prepare for this journey and flow with the wobbles when they arrive.

And I should stop being such a frigging wimp as I am being accompanied down to the jungle with a beautiful new friend I have made, who is a Doctor and is being a light beam of love and support to me. So really, I have so much to be blessed about and as I write these words I now at last am feeling calm, centered and clear. So forgive me for this wobble and thank you for reading it and undersanding it. We all have wobbles and I know and you know that it is our minds who play tricks with us and never our hearts. So I shall now go and walk in the Olive Park, take some time to connect with nature and find that inner stillness inside, which today kind of disappeared.
Have a sweet evening wherever you all are.
With Love Emilyx

No comments:

Post a Comment