Monday, February 27, 2012


I am sitting in wonderment in Kerry's  beautiful shop as my life seems to have, yet again, turned upside down and inside out. Despite this, the deep rooted feeling is that I am doing the right thing for me, only to others it may appear completly wild. I am changing my ticket from flying back to Spain this Wednesday and instead staying here in Lima to meet supposedly, the two best Shamans  in the whole of South America. All is being organised in such a graceful, beautiful way that I can only follow with surprise and gratitude.

What have I to lose by this decision? Nothing. I know it is going to lead me to the jungle where something awaits me and I have no idea what but I know that this journey will change not only my life but the lives of many others and yet I cannot begin to tell you how for I have no idea!! I walk with peace in my heart and deep trust having gone through a few days of agony talking with Kerry until now it feels the most perfect decision in the world.

A friend of mine who, when he was 92, on being asked by me what he felt was one of the most important things he had learnt in life replied, "It is the things you don't do that you regret, not the things that you do". I love that advice and have tried to follow it wherever I can.This is one of those crossroads moments, if I get on the plane and turn my back on this extraordinary opportunity that is being given to me with such love I would not be at peace with myself. This has been a gentle, spiritual, plant based walk for over five years, I have grown so much and I am not the same woman I was before so I have to honor this, no matter how scary it might be. Last night, when a mosquito was buzzing over me, I thought, "Oh God not the jungle!" I hate mosquitoes and the last time I was there, living for two months with the Shipivo Indians, I was bitten  alive every day. Well I suppose it was good that I was bitten alive and not dead! 

So I shall tell you something... I intend to enjoy every moment of luxury in Kerry's fabulous shop and all the wonderful things here in Lima, cos I have a very funny feeling this is all going to change so fast and it will be back to snakes and mosquitos and a diet of fish and rice and no chocolate and red wine and deep cermonies and everything I still feel so deeply in the photo album of my memory. Only this time I shall  create a true adventure and something wonderous will come from this, of that I am sure. And even if it is be death then that too is kind of wonderous..... to explode to the light, consciously and lovingly.... but actually I have a feeling I am to remain down here for a lot longer. Maybe this is only the beginning!! Watch this blog and you will find out!!

And one other thing the words you all send to me touch my heart so deeply. Your support, especially from total strangers, is just incredible and I feel so grateful to all of you for following my wild journey with such  acceptance. I can assure you, somewhere and somehow, it is not just about me but it might soon be  able to help so many others who are in pain and suffering to find different choices for their own healing path. This is my intention and so I shall just have to see if it unfolds. 

So now it is back to pretty dresses and lunch. Have a beautiful afternoon and promise me you will go and do something wild and magical. If you do, I know you will never regret it!!
With love to you all!!!

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