Hello!
Here I am in Kerry's shop after a magical day with Jane. She is visitng from Lima and at last we were able to have time to talk, laugh, drink a beer and have a wonderful lunch. Our six months of dealing with the heaviness of living and dying with cancer we put behind us and decided that whenever we next meet it will be somewhere fabulous and we will not mention a word of what is happening to me. I told her of my trip to the jungle and she supported this wild decision that seems to be coming from a place that I truly do not understand. All I can do is trust it, so as we were passing the white, frothy, Lima casino I decided to put God to the test!!!
I had this wild feeling that if we went inside we would win!! Just so you do not think I am some gambling addict I have only been in a casino once before in my entire life. We wandered around all the machines searching for one that "spoke" to us and I spied one called, Jungle Two. This was my test for God, if we won on this machine then fabulous things will happen to me in the jungle. So we put in around five dollars in Peruvian money and watched as the parrots screeched, the Mayan temples exploded with light and the shamans beat their dreams. Jane, who is way more of a gambler than me kept pressing some number that made us win more money and after twenty minutes we walked out with around 80 dollars which for Peru is a fortune!! I now know without a shadow of doubt, my wild jungle trip will change my life and the lives of others in ways I cannot even begin to imagine!! So if you need to check out your faith in the Universe then I definitely suggest you visit the Casino too!! It's great, well it's definitely fun when you win!! and way more fun than polishing your chakras!
So hurray, the fear is subsiding gently and the old, buried adventurer part of me is gently bubbling away. It feels so hard sometimes to reconnect with a part of myself that has hidden away for so long now, lost under a mass of fears, and pain and oh such dark thoughts and now I see almost a rebirth of myself and I feel so overwhelmingly grateful. It's like drinking a wonderful glass of champagne and feeling the bubbles tickle your nose!! And today, spending time with my dear soul sister who has given so generously to me during the hardest time of my life brings tears of gratitude to my eyes. Thank you Jane. I hope you read this and I hope you realise how much I love you. I was a true cancer bitch in her home, the dark side of fear showing its ugly face but that was part of my journey and I know is part of everyone's journey who has to walk the terror of this unpredictable dis-dease. So I hope all the angels will now help me to create a healing magical space, somewhere on this delicious planet so that with a team of people, filled with love and integrity we can, in our unique way help a few souls who have to walk the dark path of healing until they find their light.
So if our moment at the casino was anything to go by then who knows what will happen next!! So I suggest when you can, shoot off to your casino, have a beer, trust and watch the money pour from the slot!! Go on, you have nothing to lose for God is everywhere even in Casinos hanging out with us!!!!
Have a great evening, until tomorrow!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Here I am in Kerry's shop after a magical day with Jane. She is visitng from Lima and at last we were able to have time to talk, laugh, drink a beer and have a wonderful lunch. Our six months of dealing with the heaviness of living and dying with cancer we put behind us and decided that whenever we next meet it will be somewhere fabulous and we will not mention a word of what is happening to me. I told her of my trip to the jungle and she supported this wild decision that seems to be coming from a place that I truly do not understand. All I can do is trust it, so as we were passing the white, frothy, Lima casino I decided to put God to the test!!!
I had this wild feeling that if we went inside we would win!! Just so you do not think I am some gambling addict I have only been in a casino once before in my entire life. We wandered around all the machines searching for one that "spoke" to us and I spied one called, Jungle Two. This was my test for God, if we won on this machine then fabulous things will happen to me in the jungle. So we put in around five dollars in Peruvian money and watched as the parrots screeched, the Mayan temples exploded with light and the shamans beat their dreams. Jane, who is way more of a gambler than me kept pressing some number that made us win more money and after twenty minutes we walked out with around 80 dollars which for Peru is a fortune!! I now know without a shadow of doubt, my wild jungle trip will change my life and the lives of others in ways I cannot even begin to imagine!! So if you need to check out your faith in the Universe then I definitely suggest you visit the Casino too!! It's great, well it's definitely fun when you win!! and way more fun than polishing your chakras!
So hurray, the fear is subsiding gently and the old, buried adventurer part of me is gently bubbling away. It feels so hard sometimes to reconnect with a part of myself that has hidden away for so long now, lost under a mass of fears, and pain and oh such dark thoughts and now I see almost a rebirth of myself and I feel so overwhelmingly grateful. It's like drinking a wonderful glass of champagne and feeling the bubbles tickle your nose!! And today, spending time with my dear soul sister who has given so generously to me during the hardest time of my life brings tears of gratitude to my eyes. Thank you Jane. I hope you read this and I hope you realise how much I love you. I was a true cancer bitch in her home, the dark side of fear showing its ugly face but that was part of my journey and I know is part of everyone's journey who has to walk the terror of this unpredictable dis-dease. So I hope all the angels will now help me to create a healing magical space, somewhere on this delicious planet so that with a team of people, filled with love and integrity we can, in our unique way help a few souls who have to walk the dark path of healing until they find their light.
So if our moment at the casino was anything to go by then who knows what will happen next!! So I suggest when you can, shoot off to your casino, have a beer, trust and watch the money pour from the slot!! Go on, you have nothing to lose for God is everywhere even in Casinos hanging out with us!!!!
Have a great evening, until tomorrow!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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